The Importance of Being Open
My fiancé Joey has the same surname as my ex.
Hehehe I know, I know, God has a really wild sense of humor. But before I proceed with the rest of this entry, let me lay down a disclaimer right here: they are in no way related. My fiancé’s Ramirez hails from Bacolod, the ex’s comes from Nueva Ecija. Don’t you guys worry or tease, I really made sure! Besides, physically, they look nothing alike.
That was the first of the three misgivings my best friend Marj had over having Joey take me out on a date.
I still remember our phone conversation back in August 2013. “Lola, may gusto ipa-date sa’yo si Kuya Tantan. Kaya lang ka-apelyido ni Miggy. Okay lang ba yun?” I replied with, “As long as hindi Miggy or Michael pangalan niya, and as long as hindi sila related, okay lang naman siguro.”
Marj’s second apprehension: “Lola, Christian siya e.” I can’t remember exactly what my answer to this was. The “difference” probably didn’t matter to me that much at that time, as until now. Alam ko iisa at pareho din naman ang Diyos na pinaniniwalaan.
And the third and last: “Lola, tinitignan ko Facebook profile niya, pero di ko mawari itsura niya e.” which prompted me to do some stalking of my own. True to what Marj said, Joey’s appearance in all his public photos were so inconsistent - iba-iba nga itsura niya! - so di talaga namin malaman kung gwapo ba siya o hindi. Take a peek at his current profile picture which he hasn’t changed since 2012. Pa-mysterious effect daw, hehehe!
Well, as it turned out, pictures don’t do Joey justice as he is really cute, gwapo to some (and to me of course!), and yeah I really like looking at his face (pardon the bridal cheesiness, hahaha!). We share the same belief in and love for God, and his steadfastness as a person is evidence of a really deep, strong, and mature faith. We are getting married in less than two weeks, and in my heart of hearts there is peace and profound gratitude in knowing that God has chosen and prepared a life partner really, utterly well for me.
Unknown to many, I’ve been a breadwinner since I was 16. I support more than I should.. we are not rich but God continually and faithfully provides us with enough to live comfortably by. I come from a broken family - I have two half-siblings in my mom’s side and seven in my dad’s (two of whom I still haven’t met). I met my dad for the first time in April 2011, and dazedly grieved from afar when he passed away November of the same year. I am called the Queen of Bossa Nova, but until now I feel that I do not deserve the title.
I am human, I have baggage. I have battles within myself that I win and lose. But I prayed to God and asked for a husband who would love me and accept me for who I am and where I come from, and who would love and accept my family as well. And He heard. He answered.
I will always treasure the words Joey said one time when I was frantically thinking about future arrangements for my family. He said, “Bubs, yung pamilya mo at yung mga sinusuportahan mo, naka-factor in lahat yan sa desisyon ko nung nag-propose ako sa’yo.”
Aren’t I the luckiest? Aren’t I so blessed?
A moment of silence as my heart starts to fill, and an overflow attempts to spill from my eyes..
Now imagine if I had agreed with all three of my best friend’s apprehensions (God bless her - as true friends do, she was only looking out for me). Imagine if I so despised my ex I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, imagine if I had let religious differences get in the way. Imagine if I had loosely judged someone based on his photos on Facebook.. what have I robbed myself out of because I have not been open? I would not have felt this peace, I would not have been in romantic gratitude.
This is why I greatly encourage everyone to always be open, and this does not apply just to our love lives. Do not let your past dictate your present. Fight the natural human inclination to judge without fully knowing another. Let go of your worries, negativities, doubts.. and let God come in and do what He essentially does - loving and providing for us in the best possible way. And His way is always, incontestably, the best.
I am meant to be a Ramirez. It is God’s will, and His will always, always be done.
Please remember our wedding day, May 29, 2015, in your prayers. That it wouldn’t rain, the weather be good. For the safety of all our guests.. for God’s grace to cover the wedding party. And ultimately, that on that day, He will be glorified, His love be utmost. Thank you very much. <3